.... during the Children's Writing and Illustrating Conference a couple of weeks ago

"Say it straight, simple and with a smile."

I have something to say, and I need to write everyday. I have no idea where all of this will lead, nor do I want to care. Of course, I do care. And it frightens me to have no idea where this will lead. "Say it straight, simple and with a smile." This is the message on my tea bag this evening, and there were double rainbows outside before I sat down to write. I'm pretty sure these are good signs. Typically, they are, anyway. We even had the sun and rain at the same time, which always feels a bit magical to me.

I signed up for this Writing and Illustrating for Young Readers workshop at BYU in order to be able to get some notion of the process of writing and illustrating. I thought I would go in with Lucy's Aardvark. I thought it was so good that I practically wouldn't need to change a word. Seriously, I thought this. I had not read through the story one time since I had written it in India, but I had made my claim to many, many people that I had written a children's book and wanted to work it some more at this workshop and get on with how I would get it published. Just clap those hands together and viola . . . . done deal. When I registered it was so close to the conference all of the writing sections were full and only the Illustration section was available. I simply figured I could work out how I might begin to illustrate this masterpiece. I mean, I am an artist. I've sold my work. I've sold dozens of pieces, and I enjoy painting. I heard that being a writer/illustrator is the best-case scenario, the hot ticket, so why the hell not? I can do that. I LOVE certain children's books with a passion, and have worked with children my entire adult life in a variety of settings. I know this sounds like a resume at the moment, but really, I was just pointing out to myself how much this made perfect sense.

This is so ridiculously naive and rather sad, or maybe cute, or I don't know what, but it was what it was. Let's call a spade a spade. It was arrogant and egotistical beyond measure, actually.

Then the first morning of the class, I decided if I wanted to illustrate my beautiful completed, perfect gem of a story, maybe I should read it again. And, what do you know? I discovered it is pretty terrible. Perhaps immediately ready for the circular file, rather than publication. Or maybe, with hours upon hours upon hours of work, and good, honest feedback, this could be a story to learn from. I also realized I have no idea what illustration involves, where I might start, what kind of style to use, what kind of style I have, that kind of thing. I might as well have fun, meet as many people as possible and get out of this whatever I can.

Listen. I realized I have to start somewhere and This Is The Place!

decisions, decisions

"How long is this going to be?" this is Andrew asking me to be DONE on the computer this afternoon. I can't blame him, I have been on here too long.

Much to say about the last week and everything else in between, but one thing I've decided for the summer, at least, is that I have to have a schedule for this writing. Pick an on-going time to write and then just show up in here and do it.

Every other day. For about an hour. Editing, writing, generally spilling my guts.

Sounds good. Hope to be here on Tuesday!